No cis (non-trans) person should ever critique the power dynamics of a trans person’s body.
Digest that.
If you wanna talk power and privilege we need to refocus the lens, just a lil bit.
Whose gaze scrutinizes trans bodies?
Whose words shut down trans lives and possibilities for embodiment?
Whose norms dictate there can only be two sexes, two genders, two bodies, and two qualities – masculine or feminine?
I have lived thirty-four plus years struggling to carve out a place of survival for a body I feel most comfortable with. That includes thirty plus years living as a girl, tom/boy, dyke, woman, and butch, who picked up weights at age 8. That includes being degraded for touching a basketball. It includes being taunted for throwing a football. It includes being assaulted for enjoying sports at all. I literally had to fight my way through my elementary school years just so I could participate in activities I enjoyed, and it includes giving up most sports at all over my lifetime due to gender segregation.
It meant having my gender questioned, and being the subject of misogyny for developing strength, and muscularity. It meant going through high school being scrutinized as less than a girl, less than a woman, and being deemed not worthy of dating or being in the realm of possibility for desire. It meant being ridiculed for not simply being “ugly” as in fatphobia, but attacked on a daily basis psychologically, emotionally, and verbally as an adult for challenging what it means to be a man or a woman. It meant being excluded from most service jobs and employment based in feminine norms. It meant being threatened with physical assault so many times I lost count. I am lucky my shouting back has staved off attacks.
I have dated queer women with rad politics whose words have delayed my decision to embody my self wholly, by years. I have been subject to lesbian norms that fetishize breasts and possess butch bodies, all the while de-crying the terrible impact and burden on cis lives and identities of the possibility of transness. I am lucky to have created a space for myself at all, to make decisions that support my body, my health, and my wholeness.
And now, I inhabit myself fully and am told consistently that my body reminds queer women of a rapist. That being athletic and muscular is simply a facet of masculine privilege. That I am simply perpetuating male dominance and patriarchy by developing a body I feel most okay with. License is taken freely, to degrade my body, yet again. I am told I must cultivate guilt for walking through the world in this new body, and that I must wear on my sleeve and repent for on a daily basis. And, I see trans guys feeding the mill with uninformed comments repeating the degradation of my body, my choices – from guys who have not walked through the world surviving a lifetime of gender freakishness specific to a body considered too athletic, too muscular, too masculine.
There are ways to hold individuals accountable for the abusive behaviors they perpetuate without painting all masculine presenting trans people with the same brush as cis men, and with the same erasing lens that guesses at gender identity, and experience. There are ways to talk about cultivating new masculinities that disrupt traditional power dynamics, and acknowledge the huge disparity in access and privilege gained from passing as a white male without glossing over all the experiences of racism of trans men of colour that undermine their masculinity. I can’t even begin to comment on the psychic and physical violence trans women have endured around their embodiment from all facets of queer community as well as the rest of society.
Discussions can be had that challenge insight, awareness, and gentleness in ways that do not reproduce transphobic attacks on our lives and do not dichotomize gender, yet again, as masculinity vs. femininity.
I challenge us to do better.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Supporting Our Sisters
I recently came across this post on feministing by JOS entitled: "Enough With 'I Date Women and Trans Men'."
I feel like the author is asking, again, for queer cis and trans folks to question the source of our attractions and why certain exclusions of trans women as objects of desire happen in our so-called progressive queer commmunities.
I've written about this as well, and I do think it is a reasonable question to ask oneself why one may exclude trans women out of their dating pool if they profess an attraction to the grand nebulous group "women."
Where I got thrown in the article was when the author started essentializing trans men as binary male subjects with One Universal Experience and speaking for us and our partners. Not okay.
But, what I find interesting in all this is What Do We Do Now? Transmisogyny exists, FACT. It exists in cis normative society, and in the most progressive of queer spaces. So what now? How do I become an ally to the cause of rooting out transphobia that trans women and trans women of colour, specifically, face in our communities, while supporting a process of reconciliation and consciousness raising that doesn't place me in a trap of exerting male or masculine privilege in questioning women's desires?
What I don't find helpful, and indeed, find particularly damaging in witnessing attempts at allyship of trans/masc/male ppl almost inevitably with white privilege - are the broad sweeping statements made about trans men in comparison to trans women. Statements and assumptions are lobbed in an attempt to show how easy the lives of trans men are compared to trans women. How much cache or status we gain. How desireable we become. How we all obviously identify as male. Or how we all passed since we were 6 and so, therefore, received early affirmation and didn't experience girlhoods or female socialization.
Wait a second, say what?
To assert how much candy trans men get when they graduate to passing is not a simple statement. Doing so ERASES the racism and lack of privilege trans masc ppl and trans men of colour experience. It ERASES the experience of all trans men who do not pass nor wish to pass. It erases the experiences of disabled trans men. It erases the experiences of older (than 24) trans men who did not grow up in a magical fairyland where gender variety or indeed trans even existed as a thing. It erases the experiences of rural trans people. It erases the experiences of anyone who has a non linear identity path, who id'd as a tomboy, butch, genderqueer, woman, lesbian, two-spirit, non-binary, etc., or who still does.
In short, when white trans men stand up under the guise of supporting our trans sisters and do so by engaging in public acts of flagellation of themselves and others, we do NOTHING to help our sisters remove barriers and stigma, nor honour the diversity of experiences among us. We perpetuate the erasure of intersections of oppression. We succeed in looking self righteous without providing any tangible answers.
How about this:
1.) Talk about and promote knowledge of the stigma trans women face and the rigid standards of beauty placed upon them.
2.) Talk about and raise consciousness of the lack of safe, inclusive spaces for trans women in our own communities.
3.) Address stigma and transphobia head on when it happens and be there for our sisters whenever they need us.
4.) Try our best not to exert masculine privilege in speaking for trans women or appropriate experiences of marginalization or oppression of trans women.
5.) Consider our own biases in terms of how we see trans women. Address our own transphobia and discomfort if it exists, as well as dating choices.
6.) Read and reference Julia Serrano, A LOT.
7.) Link to other resources that succinctly speak about transmisogyny.
8.) Do our own research, readings, introspection, and awareness raising of the issues trans women may specifically face.
9.) Be available to emotionally support our trans sisters.
10.) Listen. A lot. Specifically to our trans sisters.
I feel like the author is asking, again, for queer cis and trans folks to question the source of our attractions and why certain exclusions of trans women as objects of desire happen in our so-called progressive queer commmunities.
I've written about this as well, and I do think it is a reasonable question to ask oneself why one may exclude trans women out of their dating pool if they profess an attraction to the grand nebulous group "women."
Where I got thrown in the article was when the author started essentializing trans men as binary male subjects with One Universal Experience and speaking for us and our partners. Not okay.
But, what I find interesting in all this is What Do We Do Now? Transmisogyny exists, FACT. It exists in cis normative society, and in the most progressive of queer spaces. So what now? How do I become an ally to the cause of rooting out transphobia that trans women and trans women of colour, specifically, face in our communities, while supporting a process of reconciliation and consciousness raising that doesn't place me in a trap of exerting male or masculine privilege in questioning women's desires?
What I don't find helpful, and indeed, find particularly damaging in witnessing attempts at allyship of trans/masc/male ppl almost inevitably with white privilege - are the broad sweeping statements made about trans men in comparison to trans women. Statements and assumptions are lobbed in an attempt to show how easy the lives of trans men are compared to trans women. How much cache or status we gain. How desireable we become. How we all obviously identify as male. Or how we all passed since we were 6 and so, therefore, received early affirmation and didn't experience girlhoods or female socialization.
Wait a second, say what?
To assert how much candy trans men get when they graduate to passing is not a simple statement. Doing so ERASES the racism and lack of privilege trans masc ppl and trans men of colour experience. It ERASES the experience of all trans men who do not pass nor wish to pass. It erases the experiences of disabled trans men. It erases the experiences of older (than 24) trans men who did not grow up in a magical fairyland where gender variety or indeed trans even existed as a thing. It erases the experiences of rural trans people. It erases the experiences of anyone who has a non linear identity path, who id'd as a tomboy, butch, genderqueer, woman, lesbian, two-spirit, non-binary, etc., or who still does.
In short, when white trans men stand up under the guise of supporting our trans sisters and do so by engaging in public acts of flagellation of themselves and others, we do NOTHING to help our sisters remove barriers and stigma, nor honour the diversity of experiences among us. We perpetuate the erasure of intersections of oppression. We succeed in looking self righteous without providing any tangible answers.
How about this:
1.) Talk about and promote knowledge of the stigma trans women face and the rigid standards of beauty placed upon them.
2.) Talk about and raise consciousness of the lack of safe, inclusive spaces for trans women in our own communities.
3.) Address stigma and transphobia head on when it happens and be there for our sisters whenever they need us.
4.) Try our best not to exert masculine privilege in speaking for trans women or appropriate experiences of marginalization or oppression of trans women.
5.) Consider our own biases in terms of how we see trans women. Address our own transphobia and discomfort if it exists, as well as dating choices.
6.) Read and reference Julia Serrano, A LOT.
7.) Link to other resources that succinctly speak about transmisogyny.
8.) Do our own research, readings, introspection, and awareness raising of the issues trans women may specifically face.
9.) Be available to emotionally support our trans sisters.
10.) Listen. A lot. Specifically to our trans sisters.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
The Traps (and tropes) of Manhood: Eating Our Own
As a trans person who does not identify with manliness - whatever that means - I am finding it interesting how my newfound perceived masculinity - based largely on changes to my physical appearance, is being ever associated with the worst aspects of cis normative, hetero-patriarchal privilege.
I find it ironic that my experience of coming into my body in the most comfortable way for me, has taken my experience from being invisible and erased, to now completely being misread. I also find it disheartening that my behaviour, and indeed my entire person, is often reduced to stereotypes of manhood, whether they be "pleasant," good intentioned, or negative.
This indeed, is a product of cis privilege.
I repeat: reducing trans identified people to a cis gender stereotype, is a product of copious amounts of cis privilege.
As usual, I can only speak from my experience as a trans/masculine, soft, somewhat effeminate person... with white, able-bodied privilege, and (currently) middle class upward mobility. I know that the experience of being read as a white male in mainstream society comes with a whole whack of access, courtesies, and privileges, even if I am largely read as a queer male, and mis-read as a "man" identified person. I very much appreciate the perspectives and unique experiences of visibly genderqueer folk, trans women, and masculine id'd folks of colour in terms of the precarious and troubling implications associated with their presentations and transitions, as the case may be.
What is troubling to me, in the case of my own experience of transformation (becoming me), are the amount of assumptions made about my gender id that are directly related to my appearance - by cis str8 and cis queer folks alike. In fact, ironically, I tend to feel more validated by my cis str8 friends at the moment than by some in queer circles in terms of understanding and seeing the difference in my gender identity, presentation, and history, from that associated with patriarchal cis maleness and privilege. I think one of the key issues for me, recently, aside from all the narrow assumptions queer cis (and many trans) people seem to make about "transition" and assumptions based on physical appearance (that physical appearance must match internal identity, and that this internal identity can only be understood in terms of patriarchal masculinity) - is negation of individual experiences in time and space.
For example, I have been hearing a lot about how transguys are "so desirable" and how we "take up so much space" in community and online. This, again, can be interpreted to mean *white* trans men, which is, in fact, true. I certainly do not take issue with the fact of trans men with white privilege being much more visible in terms of emerging trans male culture, and thankfully projects like the STUD magazine, and Brown Boi Project amongst others, are taking up rightful space for masculine of center folks of colour (and I look forward to seeing more projects and representation). But, what I take issue with is the assumption that trans men or transmasculine folk being perceived as desirable is an issue. This comment is often framed as "trans men are more desirable than trans women, butches, genderqueers." Oftentimes, this resentment at the desirability of trans men is lobbed by cis queer women - the same cis queer women who want to date and fuck trans men.
I have several issues with this complaint of the desirability of trans men vis a vis other gender presentations in our communities: 1) This assumes that trans men are undeserving of a space of desirability and that we are responsible for the desirability placed on us.... if trans men are the subject of increased desire by cis queer women and some trans women (I do not hear this complaint from trans-fag, or cis queer, gay or bi male identified folks)- what exactly are trans men expected to do about this? 2) Trans men/masculine folk have only recently had any cultural space and visibility, let alone one of desire; 3) the privileging of masculine visibility in queer spaces is subject to time, space, social location and history. For example, queers in urban centers may feel their trans male community has been around taking up space forever, but for many of us trans guys/people, we had zero space of reference for our identities in the contexts we came of age in over the life span. Let me repeat: ZERO. We have lived invisible lives, many of us stifling our identities into the depths of abyss just to live another day... having only recently been able to perceive that being a trans male(ish) person was a possibility at all and not a figment of our imaginations for another lifetime!
So, to hear constantly from those in our communities that we are "taking up so much space" I am challenging the mainly cis folks who are throwing this statement out there, what exactly this means in terms of going from spaces of invisibility, to having a space of affirmation and validation, and celebration? Can we problematize this critique, just a little bit? Can we expand this discussion to look at the ways in which WE ALL should have spaces of affirmation, desire, validation and celebration, and not just feel resentment at those of us who, for the moment, achieve it, instead of constantly eating our own?
If stigmatization of trans women is a huge issue in our communities, can we talk about this without constantly shaming and bashing trans men? If shitty/aggressive/dominating behaviour is an issue for some of us trans masculine folk, can we talk about this without reducing ourselves to stereotypes of cis men? And, can we also address the cis normative assumptions that are placed on trans people, namely that our exteriors must match our interiors, and that our histories and realities can be non-linear and incredibly complex?
Can we actually deal with the issue of privileging whiteness in these spaces we take up and make this a large part of our work, again, without reducing trans guys to stereotypes of patriarchal masculinity?
I find it ironic that my experience of coming into my body in the most comfortable way for me, has taken my experience from being invisible and erased, to now completely being misread. I also find it disheartening that my behaviour, and indeed my entire person, is often reduced to stereotypes of manhood, whether they be "pleasant," good intentioned, or negative.
This indeed, is a product of cis privilege.
I repeat: reducing trans identified people to a cis gender stereotype, is a product of copious amounts of cis privilege.
As usual, I can only speak from my experience as a trans/masculine, soft, somewhat effeminate person... with white, able-bodied privilege, and (currently) middle class upward mobility. I know that the experience of being read as a white male in mainstream society comes with a whole whack of access, courtesies, and privileges, even if I am largely read as a queer male, and mis-read as a "man" identified person. I very much appreciate the perspectives and unique experiences of visibly genderqueer folk, trans women, and masculine id'd folks of colour in terms of the precarious and troubling implications associated with their presentations and transitions, as the case may be.
What is troubling to me, in the case of my own experience of transformation (becoming me), are the amount of assumptions made about my gender id that are directly related to my appearance - by cis str8 and cis queer folks alike. In fact, ironically, I tend to feel more validated by my cis str8 friends at the moment than by some in queer circles in terms of understanding and seeing the difference in my gender identity, presentation, and history, from that associated with patriarchal cis maleness and privilege. I think one of the key issues for me, recently, aside from all the narrow assumptions queer cis (and many trans) people seem to make about "transition" and assumptions based on physical appearance (that physical appearance must match internal identity, and that this internal identity can only be understood in terms of patriarchal masculinity) - is negation of individual experiences in time and space.
For example, I have been hearing a lot about how transguys are "so desirable" and how we "take up so much space" in community and online. This, again, can be interpreted to mean *white* trans men, which is, in fact, true. I certainly do not take issue with the fact of trans men with white privilege being much more visible in terms of emerging trans male culture, and thankfully projects like the STUD magazine, and Brown Boi Project amongst others, are taking up rightful space for masculine of center folks of colour (and I look forward to seeing more projects and representation). But, what I take issue with is the assumption that trans men or transmasculine folk being perceived as desirable is an issue. This comment is often framed as "trans men are more desirable than trans women, butches, genderqueers." Oftentimes, this resentment at the desirability of trans men is lobbed by cis queer women - the same cis queer women who want to date and fuck trans men.
I have several issues with this complaint of the desirability of trans men vis a vis other gender presentations in our communities: 1) This assumes that trans men are undeserving of a space of desirability and that we are responsible for the desirability placed on us.... if trans men are the subject of increased desire by cis queer women and some trans women (I do not hear this complaint from trans-fag, or cis queer, gay or bi male identified folks)- what exactly are trans men expected to do about this? 2) Trans men/masculine folk have only recently had any cultural space and visibility, let alone one of desire; 3) the privileging of masculine visibility in queer spaces is subject to time, space, social location and history. For example, queers in urban centers may feel their trans male community has been around taking up space forever, but for many of us trans guys/people, we had zero space of reference for our identities in the contexts we came of age in over the life span. Let me repeat: ZERO. We have lived invisible lives, many of us stifling our identities into the depths of abyss just to live another day... having only recently been able to perceive that being a trans male(ish) person was a possibility at all and not a figment of our imaginations for another lifetime!
So, to hear constantly from those in our communities that we are "taking up so much space" I am challenging the mainly cis folks who are throwing this statement out there, what exactly this means in terms of going from spaces of invisibility, to having a space of affirmation and validation, and celebration? Can we problematize this critique, just a little bit? Can we expand this discussion to look at the ways in which WE ALL should have spaces of affirmation, desire, validation and celebration, and not just feel resentment at those of us who, for the moment, achieve it, instead of constantly eating our own?
If stigmatization of trans women is a huge issue in our communities, can we talk about this without constantly shaming and bashing trans men? If shitty/aggressive/dominating behaviour is an issue for some of us trans masculine folk, can we talk about this without reducing ourselves to stereotypes of cis men? And, can we also address the cis normative assumptions that are placed on trans people, namely that our exteriors must match our interiors, and that our histories and realities can be non-linear and incredibly complex?
Can we actually deal with the issue of privileging whiteness in these spaces we take up and make this a large part of our work, again, without reducing trans guys to stereotypes of patriarchal masculinity?
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