Saturday, August 29, 2009

Where Have All The Butches Gone?

I often hear this question in the Lesbian community.

Indeed. The question is often piggy backed on the assumption that said butches are being Lost In Transition. There was a time when the Butch identity was the only masculine identity available to non-femme or non-feminine female born individuals. The identity has been particularly politically charged within the lesbian community as a form of resistance against not only patriarchal maleness and masculinity, but also, as an expression of masculinity in and of itself. Do butches want to be men? Do they hate their own bodies? Do they have internalized misogyny?

In the past 5-10 years, the issue of butch visibility and dare I say, relevance as a political identity within the womyn’s community, has been perceived to be disrupted by the growing number of individuals in the FtM and transgender community. Womyn are literally asking: Where have all the butches gone? This question is a relevant one. There do indeed seem to be fewer young womyn who identify as butch. Couple this with growing numbers of individuals id-ing as trans and choosing some form of transition – some lesbians are concerned they are “losing” their butches. Indeed, some butches are concerned they are losing fellow butches, with the resultant questioning of self-identity. What makes (me) a butch woman different from a trans person? Should I be transitioning? Why is the idea of female born persons transitioning so threatening to the womyn’s community?

I recently watched a film at the Out On Screen festival entitled: Against A Trans Narrative. I initially thought the film would document the variation of gender expression within the Female to(wards) Male community, and discussion around how not all masculine id’d trans people are necessarily seeking an end point as definitively male presenting. What the film turned out to be was a discussion among various members of the queer and old school lesbian community as well as feminist circles of this very notion of trans identity, and what the implications of such an identity are. While the film wasn’t what I expected it to be… it did provoke some reactions in me. Not because the concerns being discussed were anything new, but that they are still concerns.

If we are to address this notion that butches are being “lost” to the ftm/trans community, we must first acknowledge who is experiencing the loss. Who is it that is identifying a loss of butch women (if it is indeed the case that butches are now id-ing as trans)? Who is claiming ownership of butch women and the expression of their masculine identity? Furthermore, why would an emerging identity of trans be considered a loss of a butch woman? This is all very confusing but there are, in fact, overlaps between the butch and the masculine/trans experience. Social stigma, gender dysphoria… so what makes a butch different from a trans person?

The lines are not so clear. And, while some individuals who id’d as butch have endured a political and social struggle in which they had no choice but to carve out space for their expression of masculinity within the spectre of womanhood – might some of those old school butches transitioned if given the opportunity and means? And if they did transition, would it be due to the burden of social stigma and internalized shame, innate discomfort and desire, or some combination of both? And if there was an element of socially imposed stigma and shame that affected the relationship of butch women to their bodies resulting in their choice to transition, does anyone in the womyn’s community have ownership of this issue? Or is it an individual choice?

My problem is not that many in the womyn’s community are concerned that they may be losing their butches. My problem is the license with which these womyn are questioning my choice to express my masculinity within my own body - and imposing the identification of butch woman on me as an end point for my identity. I have a problem with the womyn’s community taking ownership of my identity, questioning the validity of it, and the choices I make around it - even openly degrading it, if not simply misunderstanding it.

Should we not consider the gain of trans guys in the community? The gaining of whole persons who have achieved a manner of selfhood that is comfortable to them – and still pushes the gender norms? That such expressions are not acts of self mutilation or degradation but facilitated expression of innate being? Sure, transition as a form of gender expression is one more act taken to fully express oneself in the world. Now if you are questioning the purity of such an act – I want you to look in the mirror and itemize all the things you do on a daily basis to comfortably express your gender; including all the dietary, exercise and behavioral choices you have consciously and unconsciously made in order to cultivate a relationship between your body and gender that is satisfactory to you and brings social comfort in the world.

I also hear this idea of FtM and trans individuals gaining “male privilege” upon transitioning. While it is true many trans guys pass as male and therefore are treated accordingly, we can never forget the struggle with which they have achieved their embodiment of maleness. Someone who was assigned female at birth, who struggles for a good portion of their life under the burden of gender and socially imposed dysphoria, chooses transition as a means to a full and unencumbered life – one set free from daily anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation - has a much different experience of masculinity than one born into male privilege.

Furthermore, if that trans guy outed himself as trans, he would be subject to possibly the highest risk of violence and homicide as having been perceived to be an imposter. This is not male privilege. Experiencing respect for one’s masculinity in the world does not equal male privilege. And to think that someone would transition for this reason, or that they have made the life altering, irreversible decision to transition to access male privilege is to undermine and question the validity of trans identity. Womyn have fought long and hard for the right to determine how and what to do with their bodies – is it not ironic that they would use their voices to determine what is acceptable or not for trans or butch people?